Fall and the latest

Mostly because I am tired  of looking at the last post I decided it's time for a new post and some pictures. I took Dacian out for a fall photo session while Lavinia was napping. It was so gorgeous out, warm and the light was beautiful. I so wish I had friends to visit me so I could show you the beauty of this state. I sometimes feel so friendless. Actually I am pretty friendless. Why is it so hard to make friends? I tend to think it's because we've made life so busy for ourselves there's no time for just hanging out, there's always so much on our to do list. And friendships fall lower on the list. Then I think maybe there's something wrong with me, that I'm just too boring so maybe that's it. I guess I like not to think about that too much. I tend to get depressed quite easily. I have had great days lately however so I  have been quite positive. 

I finished my parenting classes (yay! Loved them but being gone all day until 9pm was a lot harder than I had thought).  We have gone to the fair, gone to the pumkin patch and are almost done sewing the Halloween costumes for the kids. Can't wait to show you the costumes when they are done. If only my kids will pose pretty for me. Lately I've had a heck of a time with one little girl who could care less about mommy trying to capture her cuteness on camera. 

Today it was Shane's birthday and even though he got a very nice (pricey gift) and thought about just keeping it in the family I decided that 35 is a pretty special birthday and he deserved to be with family and friends. So totally last minute I invited fiends and family to Red robin. I love that place. I also got his a cake at Hoffman's (remember the cake he got me last year? Same place) that was so delicious and brought it with us to Red Robin. They brought it out for us and sang and embarrassed Shane a little. It was a fun night. 

The kids were super hyper and that was before desert. I am sure glad they are a kid friendly place. My son has the energy of a whole crowd. It must be that he's a boy. 

Anyway, we love you daddy, hope it was a great day. (Sadly I had no memory cards in the camera. I do have to say I have a hard time taking good pictures inside without a good flash or a tripod so I probably would've ended up with a bunch of blurry pictures anyway. 

This is the view I get in the morning when I leave our neighborhood to go to work. I can't get enough of it. I am sure glad I went to take the photo because just today I saw so many of the leaves fallen out already. Fall comes very quickly around these parts but I can't complain, we've had a beautiful one. I really don't want it to end. 

 Totally SOOC. Love the colors.

 I like this one of my son. Finally I like that he's ditching his cheesy smile. He's so cute, isn't he?

 Just around the corner from us. I loved how that light was just perfect falling on those trees giving them that  wonderful golden light.

Anyone else love fall as much as I do?I know at least one person who is 100% agreeing with me right now. :)

Love and Logic

I got back from my third parenting class. I am fascinated by the new techniques I have learned. They make so much sense yet boy it's not so easy to dive in and actually do it.  Maybe it's because I've been doing my own, kind of taking it by the day parenting for too long. I get mad too easily and I realized how little patience I have and how much more I have to learn to calm down so that I am good parent. We were told to take it easy with implementing what we learn and not to do it all at once. I realized that I have to have a plan of attack and rehearse what I would be saying should he/she misbehave. It helps getting a few answers ready. It helps to think about different situations that happen often and have an answer ready. It also keeps you cool and collected, enough to be in charge and not be drunk on emotion.
The other day Dacian hit my back more as a joke but it hurt. And we don't tolerate hitting so this is how it went:
"That's so sad Dacian, you hurt mommy. I was going to take you to Safeway to get a little toy with your quarter but now we don't get to do that. That's just so sad!"
First empathy, then consequence is what they teach in the first lesson. No matter how long he cried I just kept repeading. How sad... that's just so sad...
Well, I kind of took my time on this one and just implemented. It was a success. A success for me for being able to stick to my guns and for being on the ball, a success because Dacian (hopefully) learned not to do that again even as a joke. I told him that we can go to Safeway the next day but that I would ask grandma about his behavior. Apparently he was a little angel the next day and remembered to tell me he was a good boy so he could get his prize.
Was that easy? Yes and no. Yes because that was so simple; no because when we are mad or annoyed empathy doesn't come naturally. So if I rehearse and do this over and over, the "that's so sad" expression will take on a new meaning.
But the more I listen to the instructor and read the materials provided I realize how much I need to change about the way I parent. I get a little overwhelmed but I am excited to have new tools on how do it better.
I will come back to this subject with more examples as I start having more success. Maybe parenting comes easy for most people, maybe everyone's children are little angels, all I know is I have work ahead of me.
But I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my kids and I am so happy I get to be their mommy. I get to love them, play with them, and create memories as a family.
OK, now I really need to go to bed. Night, night.