I am so sad my grandmother passed away unexpectedly the other day. It is so hard to be here and not in Romania with my extended family. I am glad my father did get to go. We got him on a flight three hours after we found out she had passed. It was quite a task, getting him ready and having the airport issue a ticket so fast enough for him to catch that one flight three hours later. I do feel God's hand in this and I really am thankful things worked out so well to get him there in time for the funeral. If he had missed this flight he would've missed the funeral. He got there at 2am and stayed by his mom to keep vigil the whole night. I can't imagine how hard that must be but I hope in a way that was healing at the same time.
I dreamed of her last night as she was on a hospital bed so happy to see my cousin and me. It was just good to talk to her and dream of her alive.
I have to admit I somewhat prepared myself for this day and mostly prepared mentally for when I would hear the news. Not because she was sick in any way but because she was old (85) and I was so far away and knew that I cannot just go visit her all the time or make the funeral just like it is now. That is one thing that killed me to live here. Even though I love this new home, I still miss my old and I feel like part of me, the Romanian me is coming to a close somehow. My parents now live here and now I don't have any more grandparents. And with my closest family here I still long to go back and feel "home" again. I don't think that will ever change. I just have to learn to live with that.
I will miss my grandmother dearly. She was the only one I had and she was such a sweetheart. I loved spending summers at her house in the coutryside, feeding the chickens and at times helping in the garden or help put the chopped wood away. I will miss her yummy food and the way she loved us all. I always admired what a hard worker she was. She lived a simple, beautiful life. I know after my grandfather died she was lonely and sad a lot and she has been saying she wanted to go for a long time now. I know she is in a better place now, reunited with grandpa. This one thought makes it more bearable.
Good bye sweet grandmother. Te iubesc!
21 hours ago