Love and Logic

I got back from my third parenting class. I am fascinated by the new techniques I have learned. They make so much sense yet boy it's not so easy to dive in and actually do it.  Maybe it's because I've been doing my own, kind of taking it by the day parenting for too long. I get mad too easily and I realized how little patience I have and how much more I have to learn to calm down so that I am good parent. We were told to take it easy with implementing what we learn and not to do it all at once. I realized that I have to have a plan of attack and rehearse what I would be saying should he/she misbehave. It helps getting a few answers ready. It helps to think about different situations that happen often and have an answer ready. It also keeps you cool and collected, enough to be in charge and not be drunk on emotion.
The other day Dacian hit my back more as a joke but it hurt. And we don't tolerate hitting so this is how it went:
"That's so sad Dacian, you hurt mommy. I was going to take you to Safeway to get a little toy with your quarter but now we don't get to do that. That's just so sad!"
First empathy, then consequence is what they teach in the first lesson. No matter how long he cried I just kept repeading. How sad... that's just so sad...
Well, I kind of took my time on this one and just implemented. It was a success. A success for me for being able to stick to my guns and for being on the ball, a success because Dacian (hopefully) learned not to do that again even as a joke. I told him that we can go to Safeway the next day but that I would ask grandma about his behavior. Apparently he was a little angel the next day and remembered to tell me he was a good boy so he could get his prize.
Was that easy? Yes and no. Yes because that was so simple; no because when we are mad or annoyed empathy doesn't come naturally. So if I rehearse and do this over and over, the "that's so sad" expression will take on a new meaning.
But the more I listen to the instructor and read the materials provided I realize how much I need to change about the way I parent. I get a little overwhelmed but I am excited to have new tools on how do it better.
I will come back to this subject with more examples as I start having more success. Maybe parenting comes easy for most people, maybe everyone's children are little angels, all I know is I have work ahead of me.
But I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my kids and I am so happy I get to be their mommy. I get to love them, play with them, and create memories as a family.
OK, now I really need to go to bed. Night, night.